The Courage to Be Unchosen

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Rejection stings-even when we tell ourselves it shouldn’t.

Even when we say, “It wasn’t meant to be,” or “They’re lost,” or “It’s not personal.”
The body still flinches.
The heart still sinks.
Because rejection isn’t just about someone saying no-it’s about being left out of something we wanted to belong to.

It’s the silence after vulnerability.
The unanswered text.
The job that goes to someone else.
The friend who drifts away.
The person who sees you-all of you-and still chooses something else.

Rejection is the sharp reminder that we cannot control how we are received.
And for many of us, it scrapes up old wounds:
The schoolyard moment of not being picked.
The parent who seemed too busy, too distracted.
The lover who left without explanation.

As a therapist, I see how rejection can shape people’s lives-
not just in the moment it happens,
but in the way we learn to protect ourselves afterward.
We make ourselves smaller.
We become the one who leaves first.
We stop asking for what we truly want-just in case the answer is no.

But here’s the truth I offer my clients, and often myself:

Rejection doesn’t mean you weren’t enough.
It means you risked being seen.
It means you told the truth about what you needed, hoped for, or dreamed.
And that is an act of incredible courage.

Because rejection is not the end of your worth.
It’s just a redirection.
A painful one, yes.
But sometimes, a sacred one-back to yourself, back to the relationships that feel mutual, and back to the truth that being unwanted in one place does not make you unlovable.

So let rejection sting. Let it ache.
But don’t let it silence you.
Don’t let it make you forget who you are.

Even in the no, you are worthy.
Even in the silence, you matter.
Even in their leaving, you are still whole.

Jaimini -Therapist

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